Day 97 - Things Happen for a Reason?

I've always told everyone that I believe things happen for a reason. But, could it be that deep down I don't really believe that or I try to circumvent the process?

It's amazing to me because there are so many things that have happened to me that truly did happen "for a reason"....most of them are deep dark secrets because why would I ever want anyone to see me as less than perfect.....but honestly enough there have been some real changes and disappointments along the way. I'm not quite ready to expose myself to all of them....but perhaps a few.

Here's some that I can remember.....and please don't judge me.....

1. I didn't really want to move to Ft. Wayne. Sure, I rated the job highly and thought it was an awesome opportunity, but I figured that somehow I'd really stay in Philly or one of the other jobs I wanted - I would get.

What happened: Probably the toughest and best learning experience on the job EVER, the career experience of a lifetime, learned how to be on my own and without a group of ready-made friends for a year, spent a lot of time thinking about what I wanted, lost 20 lbs, MET MY HUSBAND, learned that I was a pretty good bowler, got to spend at least one weekend a month with my family and saved a lot of money

2. I was absolutely heartbroken about not being promoted last year even though I secretly knew I wasn't ready (although NOW I'm ready to kick some butt!) and took a lot of comments about why I didn't go for the team leader job.

What happened: Most of the team got laid off and I would have potentially been in a very tough spot.

3. I thought my life was so sad when my parents told me that I had to get a "real" degree from Northwestern instead of a theater degree (sorry to all my theater friends..they just didn't see it as useful!).

What happened: I got a lead in the Mainstage musical my freshman year and HATED performing....apparently it turned out I was a bit of a narcissist and only liked performing for audiences where everyone was my friend...I would have been a terrible professional!

I'm sure there is many more. I'm struggling right now between trusting in my own instincts at pushing forward....to believing that God has a plan and I fit into it somehow....or to take my friend's psychic who predicted eerily true things to find out where I belong.

All I know is that I'm being tested right now and hopefully a change is coming soon.

Is it in the cards for me to be a laid-back Southerner, with a new accent, a convertible, and dye my hair blond?

I guess we'll see shortly.